There is an old joke. There are three brothers, and the youngest one has a stutter. One day their father dies, leaving behind a modest inheritance. They gather to discuss what to do with the money. The eldest brother says let's plant grain. The youngest starts stuttering: "A-a-a-a..." They don't have the patience to wait for him to finish, so they plant grain. That year there is a drought, and the grain seedlings burn and are destroyed. The next year, they discuss again, the youngest brother says "a-a-a," the middle brother says let's buy livestock, animal husbandry can bring good money. But this year, just as he's about to finish speaking, there is unprecedented rain, and floods carry away the cows. Finally, in the third year, the brothers decide to wait to see if maybe the youngest brother will come up with something sensible. The youngest says: "A-a-a-let's buy aluminum and build an airplane, and leave this place."
Why did this joke come to my mind? It is no secret from the government, so why hide it from dear readers? I am writing about it. Recently, by decision of the leadership, the "Azerbaijan Aluminum" Open Joint Stock Company was liquidated, and in its place, the "Azeraluminum" Limited Liability Company was established. Why was this decision made? Honestly, the workers have no information. Is aluminum production efficient? We do not know this either, because it is impossible to draw conclusions from the official statistics at hand. Looking at the figures, production increases one year, decreases the next, and in the third year rises again compared to the previous. Now try to understand this. Because if the increase happened relative to a decrease, how correct is it to call it an increase? For example, suppose you raise a chicken; it makes noise for a month but does not lay eggs. The second month it gets strong and lays two eggs. Wouldn't that be called a "200 percent increase in a month"? Very good.
So, in the current situation, we do not know whether our aluminum (which is a real deception—before saying that, your mouth twists like an aluminum spoon) is enough to build an airplane or not. If it could, it would be good—for us to fly away and get out of here, and for the government to have peace from us. They really take a lot of our expenses, bless them. Child benefits, pensions, retirements, scholarships, whatever, death benefits, living allowances...
Keeping the people in today's world is very costly. Besides, sometimes you have to gather them and send them on a pilgrimage to Mecca—you even pay for their afterlife, praise be to God. By the way, if some kids don't cover their heads, they can't even go to class. Recently, similar fuss has come from the schools. It has been scientifically proven that when the head is covered, education penetrates better inside. The head must stay warm. There is a wise, poetic saying from ancient physicians about this: "Keep your head warm, your feet cool, pay attention to your food, and don't think too deeply."
Indeed, walking without socks in the cold has positive effects on a person, try it. Anyway, let’s not stray from the topic or the corner will blow away.
Turning aluminum from an "open company" into a limited liability company reminds me somewhat of reforms in other spheres. Sometimes a state agency is made a public entity, sometimes it’s turned into a committee, sometimes an agency — I don’t know what ends up left at the end. It seems we have no place to put the agency. As I wrote above, everything is for the people. We shuffle the agencies here and there hoping something will move, and workers’ pockets will be filled. The only consistently stable agency left is the oil agency; whether oil prices crawl on the ground or fly in the sky, its management structure never changes.
In conclusion, I want to tell you once more: a-a-a...
Zamin HACI