Seyid Əzim Şirvani has a poem called “Bribery to God,” which talks about the people of Hamadan suffering from drought. They think about what to do so that it rains, they collect money and give it to an elder to take to God in hopes of making it rain. When the elder sets out across the steppe-desert, he meets a certain agha who has gone hunting and mistakenly believes this agha to be God; he gives him the money and returns to the village. By chance, torrential rain falls, causing livestock and people to drown and perish. The elders gather again and say they probably gave too much bribery, which is why the rain fell excessively. It’s best to read that part directly from Seyid himself: “At once, the communal rain fell; the flood rose seven spans. The village's animals perished, The people were smitten by the storm and plague. They said: - Oh gracious Lord, Where has a thousand tuman bribe been seen? You saw too much money; he went to excess, It seems he swallowed an intoxicating pill.”
Hamadan is a region on the Iranian side, and in fact, even now there is no great change in the status of elders there. But I have no intention of entering Trump’s territory; I am simply reminded of Seyid’s work due to an incident in another dear region of ours—Turkey. There, there is a state agency called TÜBİTAK, established to research science and technology. It finances projects of scientists somewhat like our Science Fund and gives grants. Recently, the Turkish media revealed a tragicomic fact: apparently, TÜBİTAK allocated 3 million lira (approximately 113 thousand manat in our currency) to investigate rain prayers.
Honestly, since I found it very amusing, I even found the exact name of the project: “The Eco-Theological Analysis of Rain Prayers as a Participatory Example of Prayer in Islamic History.” The project leader was a veiled woman from Bursa University.
Bravo... From now on, children should only be sent to Turkey to study. True, we also had good scientists ourselves; for example, at the Institute of Physics of ANAS, they had found the angel’s flying speed based on Quranic verses! Or, the Shamakhi Observatory accurately calculated the cost of the Hajj pilgrimage each year based on the angle between Saturn and Jupiter. But we opened many kebab houses in the observatory yard, and now our astrologers’ telescopes see no better than through smoke, resulting in incorrect finances.
I believe the Turkish scientists’ research on rain prayers should also clarify a scientific question: what are the differences between prayers for rain to fall and prayers for rain to stop? Because just recently, when Baku and our city’s guests were flooded, we deeply understood the importance of this science. Indeed, it was very profound. At that time, everyone was blaming the ADSEA agency, whereas maybe the issue could have been resolved with just a few words of prayer. As our ancestors said, say a prayer, and let the pig leave the barn.
Many things have such simple, ancestral, time-tested solutions that you must not forget. For example, nowadays many news stories circulate about the poor refereeing in our national football championship. For entertainment, I watched some episodes, and indeed, our football is developing: goals scored from offsides, holding the ball with hands... The main thing is that Masazir has essentially become like Paris, and in the football team everyone, pardon me, is “from the black nation.” Imagine, a game is going on for the Azerbaijan Cup, and there isn’t a single Azerbaijani native player on the field. What use is this to the people? The Turkish expression would be “ballet,” not making sense. Presumably, not everyone can go watch the Senegal championship.
In short, there is dissatisfaction with the referees, but it is very easy to fix this: involve judges from the Heavy Crimes Court in football. If you see their justice, you will pray for our football referees.
Zamin HACI